Dan ToomeyinSlackjawRequirements to Join Our Totally Legal Pickleball LeagueFollow these steps or else·3 min read·Oct 17, 2022--3--3
Dan ToomeyinSlackjawThis Article Was Co-Written By AI. Can You Tell?The rise of sentient authors3 min read·Jul 21, 2022--2--2
Dan ToomeyinSlackjawHow We Will Market Your 5-Star Middle School AthleteHow to profit from name, image, likeness…and age.3 min read·Apr 7, 2022--1--1
Dan ToomeyinSlackjawNeed To Spice Up Your Sex Life? Try Wordle!Using the latest viral sensation — but not that kind3 min read·Mar 9, 2022--1--1
Dan ToomeyinSlackjaw20 Things My Suburban Parents Whispered At Youth Soccer GamesThe other coach has an accent. We’re fucked.·2 min read·Jan 25, 2021----
Dan ToomeyinSlackjaw20 Things My Suburban Parents Whispered At Christmas MassWe’re going to this church, kids, because their priest has an average sermon time of four minutes.·2 min read·Dec 21, 2020--5--5
Dan ToomeyinSlackjaw20 Things My Suburban Parents Whispered At A Cocktail PartyThe best things are left unsaid. Unless they’re whispered.·2 min read·Nov 27, 2020--16--16
Dan ToomeyA letter from your boss during these precedented times.Each business cycle I ask myself the same question: “how can we operate our company exactly like last year — disappointing as little people·3 min read·Nov 10, 2020----
Dan ToomeyinSlackjawRanking The Family PetsFelix could down catnip like it was goddamn water, and we loved her for that.·4 min read·Nov 5, 2020--3--3
Dan ToomeyinSlackjawJoe Biden’s Cabinet Picks, In His Own WordsThe final list, finally.·5 min read·Sep 8, 2020--2--2