The best things are left unsaid. Unless they’re whispered.

  1. “See that shingling? Divorce-money house.”
  2. “I’ll need you to point out work friends and work enemies.”
  3. “That babysitter we got wasn’t too hot, was she?”
  4. “I put the casserole in a bag because Cathy never returns the dish, now please don’t make this a bigger deal than it already is.”

Felix could down catnip like it was goddamn water, and we loved her for that.

Hello, all! Thanks for joining the family group chat. This is the one without grandpa, so you’re safe to have opinions here.

This chat was created so we could finally have a definitive ranking for the family pets — past and present. As we witnessed at our last get-together, this…


Come for the laughs. Stay for the pity.

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